Did you stay up last to watch the entire Oscars last night? It was a pretty entertaining show, and it was nice to see Leonardo DiCaprio finally get his Oscar. The show got us thinking that we should hand out some awards of our own. So we dove into the blog vault to come up with some nominees for a criminal version of the Oscars. So without further ado, here’s a look at some of the people who took home the hardware this season.
Crime Oscars
Just like the Oscars, we’ll start with some of the lesser known awards before we get to the big ones. So without further ado:
Best Original Story
This award goes to the best original piece of written criminal law blog content.
The nominees: DUI Poem: Twas The Night Before Christmas, Addiction Poem and Chemical Dependency
The winner: Addiction Poem and Chemical Dependency! The Burning Tree Treatment Center partnered up with poet IN-Q to create this powerful poem that speaks about the battles those with addiction face every day.
Best Historical Piece
This award goes to the blog that best analyzed and explained the history of laws that are now commonplace in our society.
The nominees: The History of the Miranda Rights, The History of BAC and Drunk Driving in Minnesota.
The winner: The History of BAC and Drunk Driving in Minnesota! This fascinating piece explained how the drunk driving laws in Minnesota have undergone numerous changes in a relatively short amount of time. Worth the read!
Best Performance by a Dumb Criminal
Things are starting to heat up as we introduce our next category, which goes to the criminal whose actions left us all scratching our heads.
The nominees: Jury Rejects Beer Battered Fish Defense, Drunk Girl Livestreams Her Drive Home…You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next!, Man Gets DUI After Setting Up Fake DUI Checkpoint, Man Fools Cops By Hiding Marijuana in Box Labeled “Not Weed”.
The winner: In our most loaded category of the right, the award for Best Performance by a Dumb Criminal goes to Drunk Girl Livestreams Her Drive Home…You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next! Whitney Beall takes home this award after livestreaming her drunk driving escapades to the world, only to have concerned viewers call the authorities after using visual clues from her stream to determine her location.
Best Criminal in a Supporting Role
The first of the big three to be handed out tonight, here are the nominees for Best Criminal in a Supporting Role.
The nominees: Woman Earns DUI While Picking Up Her Sister Who Had Been Arrested For DUI, Wife Earns DUI For Driving Drunk To Husband’s DUI Stop, DUI is a Family Affair For Father, Sons.
The winner: And the award goes to….the Woodward family! You’ll remember them as the father and two sons who all earned DUIs on the same day in DUI is a Family Affair For Father, Sons!
Best Criminal in a Leading Role
Who will take home the Oscar for Best Criminal in a Leading Role? Here are your nominees
The nominees: Drunk Secret Service Members Crash into White House Barrier, Man Turns Himself in After Murdering Imaginary Friend, Minnesota Man Earns DUI on a Snowplow, Minnesota Man Tries To Fake Seizure To Get Out of a DUI.
The winner: It wouldn’t be the criminal Oscars if we didn’t award someone who attempted to combine crime and acting, so we have to give this award to Minnesota Man Tries To Fake Seizure To Get Out of a DUI! It was his first Crime Oscar win in 27 previous convictions. Well earned!
Best Criminal Picture
Our final award of the night goes to the best criminal law film. Here are the nominees:
The nominees: DUI in Minnesota: What You Can Expect During Booking, How Do Prostitution Stings Work?, Physical Control: How You Can Get a DUI Without Driving.
The winner: Produced in house by the team here at Appelman Law Firm, the winner of Best Criminal Picture goes to the informative piece, Physical Control: How You Can Get a DUI Without Driving! Truly a masterful and thought-provoking piece.
Congratulations to all the winners. We’ll be back next year with another edition of the Crime Oscars!
