The story of Little Red Riding Hood has many versions, ranging from the tame to the most violent. Today, we’re going to tell our own version of the classic tale and explore the relationship to Minnesota criminal conduct laws.
One day, a beautiful woman named Red Riding Hood set off through the forest to visit her ailing grandmother. As she is walking, Little Red is spotted by a big, bad, lecherous wolf.
When the wolf sees Little Red, his eyes light up and he makes up his mind to force himself on her. However, the woods are full of forest animals and the wolf doesn’t want any witnesses. So, he approaches Red and asks her where she is going. Naively, Red told the wolf that she was headed to her grandmother’s house and then gave him directions.
As a distraction, the wolf suggested to Red that she pick some wildflowers for her grandmother. She agreed and, having successfully stalled Red, the wolf ran ahead to the grandmother’s house.
When he got there, the wolf knocked down the door, hit the old woman over the head with a pipe, then locked her in the attic. He then dressed himself as the grandmother and crawled into bed to wait.
When Red got to the house, she went inside and noticed that something wasn’t right about her grandmother. “Oh Granny,” she said, “What long fur you have!” The wolf replied, “All the better to keep you warm, my dear.” Then Red said “Oh Granny, what big hands you have!” and the wolf, sensing his opportunity and Red’s vulnerability, screamed “ALL THE BETTER TO TOUCH YOU WITH!”
The wolf jumped out of bed, tackled Red, and forced her to have sex with him. At this point, the commotion roused the unconscious grandmother, who calls the police from the closet.
When the police arrived, they hauled the wolf away and charged him with the following crimes:
Assault in the First Degree: When the wolf hit Granny with the pipe, he inflicted great bodily harm. Assault in the first degree is a felony in Minnesota. If convicted, the wolf could receive a sentence of up to 20 years in prison and/or $20,000 in fines.
Burglary in the First Degree: Because the wolf broke into Granny’s house with the intention of committing a crime, he was charged with burglary in the first degree. This is a felony charge and the wolf can face up to 20 years in prison and/or $35,000 in fines.
Criminal Sexual Conduct in the First Degree: The wolf used considerable force and threat of harm while raping Red, so he may be charged with felony aggravated sexual assault. This is a very serious charge in Minnesota and if convicted, the wolf could be sentenced up to 30 years in prison and/or a fine of up to $40,000.
Burglary, assault, and sexual assault are all extremely serious crimes in Minnesota that carry extremely serious consequences. For the big bad wolf, or anyone charged with one of these crimes, it is absolutely imperative that they retain an experienced MN criminal defense attorney right away.
Stay tuned as we retell more classic fairy tales in our Fairy Tale Law blog series.
Photo:
Shlomi Nissim
