Fairy Tale Law: Goldilocks and the Three Bears

On Monday, we explored the story of the Three Little Pigs and the criminal charges which could be brought against the violent, villanous Big Bad Wolf. This week we are recounting the tale of Goldilocks, a mischievous little girl who gets herself into trouble with a family of bears. Unlike the Big Bad Wolf, Goldilocks is neither violence nor particularly malevolent. However, her mischief could still leave her facing some hefty charges and in need of an experienced criminal defense attorney.

Our story begins with a cottage deep in the Fairy Tale woods. This little house is inhabited by a family of three gentle bears: Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear. They keep a tidy, orderly house and each bear has its own porridge bowl, chair, and bed–each sized appropriately. One day, when the Three Bears were away from the house, a mischievous little girl named Goldilocks wandered off into the woods. There, she came upon the little house and peeked in the window. After seeing that the house was empty, she let herself inside.

First, Goldilocks went into the kitchen, where three bowls of fresh porridge were sitting out on the table. Feeling a little hungry, Goldilocks tried the porridge from the biggest bowl, but it was far too hot. She then sampled the porridge from the second bowl, but it was far too cold. Deciding to give it one last try, Goldilocks tried the porridge from the smallest bowl and decided it was just right. Goldilocks wanted to sit down to finish the porridge, so she  sat down in the smallest chair, the chair belonging to Baby Bear. However, Goldilocks was a bit on the porky side and broke the chair into pieces.

All this activity made the impish little blonde very tired, so she decided to take a nap in one of the beds. After trying out all three beds, Goldilocks decided that Baby Bear’s bed was the perfect size, so she lay down and quickly fell fast asleep.

Soon after, the Bears returned home from their outing and were very hungry. Papa Bear and Mama Bear saw their bowls on the table and exclaimed, “Someone has been eating my porridge!” When poor baby bear saw his bowl, he cried out “Someone has eaten all of my porridge and broken my chair!” Realizing that they had been victims of an intruder, the Three Bear ventured upstairs. Papa and Mama Bear saw that their beds had been mussed and exclaimed “Someone has been sleeping in our beds!” Then Baby Bear looked over to his bed and, seeing Goldilocks, announced “There she is!”

Frightened, Goldilocks jumped up and ran from the house. The Three Bears, being reasonable mammals, called the Fairy Tale Police. Goldilocks was soon arrested.

Goldilocks entered the dwelling without consent with the intent of committing a crime. While she was in the house, the Three Bears returned home. Because of these conditions, Goldilocks was charged with Burglary in the First Degree. This is a felony charge and Goldilocks could be sentenced to imprisonment for up to 20 years or a fine of up to $35,000.

Goldilocks broke Baby Bear’s chair, which was handcrafted by elves and very valuable. It would cost the Bears over $500 to replace the chair, so Goldilocks was charged with Criminal Damage to Property in the First Degree. For this, Goldilocks could receive a sentence of up to 5 years or a five of up to $10,000.

Goldilocks ate the Bears’ porridge. Although the porridge is not especially valuable, this is still considered a crime. Goldilocks was charged with Misdemeanor Theft  which carries a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail and fines up to $1,000.

The charges faced by Goldilocks were very serious, so she decided to use her right to an attorney and contacted MN criminal defense attorney Avery Appelman.

The Appelman Law Firm is well versed in the laws of Minnesota property crimes, as well as the juvenile justice system. If you have been charged with any property crimes in Minnesota, contact an experienced MN criminal defense attorney right away.  Stay tuned as we continue our Fairy Tale Law blog series.

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Avery Appelman

Avery Appelman is a criminal defense lawyer and the founder of Appelman Law Firm. While his practice is primarily recognized for its work with DWI and related offenses, he has 16 years of experience working with clients on drug, assault, theft, traffic, criminal sexual conduct, and prostitution charges.

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